Children, Marriage, and Adoption

Dear Nemo,

      I don't understand why you keep trying to convince me to get married and have my own children. I KNOW it's not what you want from me, you've only mentioned it almost every time someone asks if I've had a boyfriend yet or if I plan to get married. Which has been quite often, and honestly it's starting to get annoying.
      First of all, I really think it's odd that you had the expectation that I would to the same thing my mother did, and now that I'm older you're worried that I'll end up like my aunt. Why can't you see that I'm not like either one of them? I am my own person, please stop comparing me to the other women in the family.
       Second, I don't want to "choose a sperm donor" that's so strange that you want me to do that. I don't know what to think of you anymore, only two of your children remained married (and one has even separated from his wife before) so it's obvious we don't even agree on the sanctity of marriage. I can see why you don't believe in it, but it would be really kind of you to try to understand my point of view as well. I don't wish for my own biological children right now, and I don't think I ever have.
       Third, stop wondering if I'll stay single for the rest of my life. I'm fairly young, just because the other girls you know have had at least one boyfriend by the age of 16 doesn't mean I should be doing that too you know. Besides, I'm still fairly young, if I'm meant to be married then someone will come my way, but for now let me live my life the way it's supposed to be lived.
         Fourth, and last, I know that adopted children have issues. I can't even blame the children for the challenges they have to face, I can only blame the parents because of their instability in a situtation and the fact that there are many abandoned and orphaned children in the world means that someone has to and should take care of them. I know the challenges of raising this children, I've been shown and taught the psychology of these children, in fact I'm studying it right now. In learning this I also know that the children you're helping to raise right now have more psychological trauma than the 3 children you could not help raise. What do you think that means? If the three who were not touched by you are turning out to be more stable than the ones in your reach right now, what does that say about you? About the environment you have created? Don't try to say to me that I'm too young to understand something that complex, I'm seeing it with my own two eyes and I can see that there's a difference in the two groups.

       Nemo, please try to understand that I don't think you're wrong, in fact you could probably be completely right. I'm simply saying that I don't agree with your point of view, but I believe I can see why you think the way you do. I still love you, but I just can't look at you the same way. For your sake and my sake, please stop trying to tell me I'm weird and crazy and wrong to think the way I do.

Only in Dreams

Dear Nemo,

     You were in my dreams again. Here's the funny thing, in each dream we've progressed from friends to a couple, outrageous right? On the bright side, my dreams are always G-rated; I think we're usually just snuggling or holding hands. You're probably wondering how I know it's you, well I can see your face and hear your voice, I guess we've hung out enough so that I can recognize you by that even in my dreams.
    Nemo, by now you're probably wondering why I decided to tell you about these dreams, we are only friends after all, right? At least I know you are no more than a friend, and I'm sure you view me like a friend too. I'm pretty sure of this because you always seem calm around me, or maybe that's just what I think. Maybe you're more calm because you know I'm not looking for anything more than your friendship, we've talked about this various times. Whatever the case may be, it appears that my conscious and rational mind wants nothing more than your friendship, while my subconscious wants us to be together. I'm not even sure why I started this letter, now that I think of it. On one side, at least now I've told you so it stops bothering me. On the other side, when I stop paying attention my mind wanders back to this idea. Perhaps I've completely lost my mind.
    So Nemo, I have a question for you, what are you looking for? What is it you are searching for with this crazy thought? Remember to answer like a sir.



"Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my head."

Introduction

This blog is slightly different than my other one. It will be written in letter format. The letters have either already been written, or they're ones that I have written in my head but are not down on paper. (This is just an intro so it's not in letter format.) If you have any knowledge of archaic languages, you'll know why I chose the title, if you don't then that's okay I think you'll figure it out soon.